DAYS OF ATONEMENT
With a new $220,000 grant, Israeli researchers look to teach rabbis the latest science of forgiveness
Israeli academics look at various concepts of forgiveness and how they can be applied in Israeli communities, but not specifically as it relates to the Oct. 7 attacks or the ongoing war
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As Jews around the world consider the concepts of forgiveness and justice during these Aseret Yemei Teshuva (10 Days of Atonement) leading up to Yom Kippur, a group of Israeli researchers will be considering the topics somewhat more academically, looking to see how the latest science about forgiveness meets principles of Jewish wisdom.
This two-year project will be funded by a recently awarded $220,000 grant from the U.S.-based Templeton World Charity Foundation. Looking to educate rabbis and other Jewish spiritual leaders in Israel, the researchers will explore how Judaism — which requires the offending party to confess his transgressions and express regret for his actions before being forgiven by the offended party — can also embrace the concept of unconditional forgiveness for the benefit of one’s own psychological well-being.
Another exploration in the project, said Yitzhak Ben Yair of the department of behavioral sciences of Zefat Academic College who will direct the project, will be looking at the concepts of mechila, which can be translated as pardon or relinquishment (which Ben Yair prefers), and slicha, forgiveness and are terms used often in the Slichot prayer of Yom Kippur. While Yom Kippur can be a good reminder about forgiveness, it is used more as a day of accounting by people of who should ask for forgiveness from them and who they should ask for forgiveness from, he said. What they are looking to do is to turn forgiveness into a way of life, giving it a more prominent place in people’s lives with less emphasis put on justice.
“We are looking at it the other way. We want people to look inside of themselves for who they can forgive,” Ben Yair told eJewishPhilanthropy.
Forgiveness is something between a person and oneself, about their own feelings, their own attitudes, their own way of life or way of being, added professor Natti Ronel, of the department of criminology at Bar-Ilan University, another member of the project.
“It means that if I forgive you, it’s a process that I’m doing within myself. It’s a personal process that I’m going through. It might make an impact on the relationship between us, naturally, but basically it’s a process that I’m doing with myself,” Ronel told eJP. “It usually is reflected in the way I will build my life afterwards. It means that the way I will approach people will be impacted by my ability to gain forgiveness [within myself.]”
The “Forgiveness Education and Training of Jewish Community Spiritual-Religious Leaders in Israel” project will also include a team of researchers who have pioneered Jewish Forgiveness Therapy and Forgiveness Education (JFTE), including Ronel, Ben Yair, professor Robert Enright of the University of Wisconsin-Madison and professor Suzanne Freedman of the University of Northern Iowa.
The project will operate under the Judaism-Based Social Sciences (JBSS) research center, initiated in 2020 through a collaboration between the Tzahar-Palm Beach Partnership and Zefat Academic College, and directed by Ben Yair.
Through development of a training program that integrates forgiveness principles from scientific perspectives with Jewish teachings, the program aims to empower rabbis and Jewish spiritual leaders to share their knowledge of Jewish forgiveness, along with evidenced-based content on forgiveness with their respective communities.
The researchers hope to get the first two courses, with approximately 15 students each, off the ground in January 2025 at the Zefat Academic College, simultaneously putting out an open call for students and recruiting Jewish leaders in northern Israel, maintaining their confidence that the security situation in four months’ time will allow things to go ahead as planned.
The science of forgiveness aims to study how to help people to forgive, explained Ronel, what the benefits are of forgiveness among different populations, ranging from high-risk prisoners — a very violent population — to people suffering from chronic disease, where it was found that forgiveness helped them with their health and immune system.
However, noted Ben Yair, forgiving does not mean downsizing the severity of any act committed against an individual.
“I am not abandoning justice when I forgive,” he said. “[What happened] is unfair and it is still unfair although you forgive him; this is very important because sometimes people think that if they forgive they are also justifying the deeds.”
In their project description the researchers said it is expected to “foster confidence in the efficacy of forgiveness science and therapy among Jewish individuals.” The model advocates a clear vision of human nature and transformative values like love, empathy, and compassion while addressing obstacles such as anger, resentment and pride, they said, adding that “the emphasis on humility, patience and courage is pivotal for overcoming these barriers.”
“Forgiveness is within your mind as an attitude towards life. If you think ‘forgiveness,’ then it helps you to get rid of [these negative emotions] you don’t need in your life.” said Ben Yair. “We are not saying don’t be angry. We are all human. Acknowledge your anger, but go beyond it. This is forgiveness.”
Ronel emphasized that though such a forgiveness project in Israel is needed now more than ever when stressors and tensions are heightened in family and community dynamics because of the political situation, the forgiveness education and training will not focus on societal impacts created by the war and does not focus on forgiving the aggressors of Oct. 7 nor the Israeli military or government. Instead, forgiveness will be discussed as a tool and a way of life to use within the family and community. The researchers further noted that the focus of the course is on making communities aware of forgiveness, rather than working individuals through forgiveness therapy.
“We are not looking toward forgiveness of Oct. 7,” said Ben Yair. “But I think since Oct. 7 we are all already carrying a bag full of stones. It is hard as it is. So if we can manage to establish some way of life, a forgiveness way of life here, maybe we can prevent adding more stones to our bag.”
The researchers said that because individuals are now experiencing increased stress, tension and anxiety, there is an increased possibility of intergenerational transmission of trauma within families, similar to the challenges faced by families in the aftermath of the Holocaust. Therefore they believe there is a “pressing need” to learn and practice forgiveness especially within families and communities to lessen the adverse effect that can result from holding onto anger.
The example of Eva Mozes Kor, a Romanian-born American survivor of the Holocaust, who together with her twin sister, Miriam Mozes Zeiger, was subjected to human experimentation by the infamous Nazi physician Josef Mengele at Auschwitz, vividly illustrates their concept of forgiveness, said Ronel. On the 40th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, after undergoing her own internal process she openly declared her forgiveness of Mengele, saying that after 40 years of rage and resentment she no longer wanted him to be a part of her life.
They researchers said they anticipate that at the completion of the course the rabbis and spiritual leaders will become more able to forgive, and will have tools to teach their community members about forgiveness so they can become “forgivingly fit” — similar to how one becomes physically fit by going to the gym, they said. They hope the project can be the beginning of incorporating forgiveness as a way of life for people in Israel for their psychological well-being and overall health. In this way, they believe, related concepts such as empathy, compassion, perspective-taking and kindness can begin to come into play within families, circles of friends and communities.
The concept of forgiveness has roots in many religions, including Christianity, which offers the well-known axiom of “turn the other cheek,” but forgiveness is also rooted in Judaism, said Ronel, expressed in Jewish scriptures and the Shema prayer recited by religious Jewish at night, which emphasizes the commitment to forgive those who have intentionally or unintentionally harmed you, underscoring the importance of letting go of negative emotions to achieve healing.
Judaism does not promote unconditional forgiveness and makes a distinction between mechila, or pardon, and slicha, forgiveness. According to Maimonides the perpetrator must approach the offended party and express regret for their actions three times, and do acts of repentance, said Ben Yair. The wounded can choose whether to forgive or not, but after three times if he does not forgive then he is viewed as the sinner while the offender is the righteous for having asked for forgiveness three times.
Ronen and his colleagues are working to find a way to work around the concept of unconditional forgiveness in Judaism, to create a bridge between forgiveness as a generic psychological process, said Ben Yair. They believe one such approach is to promote simply following God’s path, said Ben Yair.
“God has a lot of qualities and one of the major qualities is that he forgives. If we want to follow God’s path we need to forgive as well,” Ben Yair said. “At this stage we are letting go of the negative feelings, losing the negative feelings from our consciousness. “Relinquishment is focused on the past, on what happened. Forgiveness is the next step on a higher stage with a little bit more of understanding of the offender. This is the positive stage of forgiveness. And this is from Judaism.”