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You are here: Home / Readers Forum / Transgender, Aspergers and Millennials: My Entrance into a New World

Transgender, Aspergers and Millennials: My Entrance into a New World

August 14, 2015 By eJP

By Billy Planer

So as I look back at the first day of the 2015 Etgar 36 trip, I dealt with two items and it struck me the power pop culture has to help us form opinions and ways to deal with issues.

For the first time on an Etgar 36 summer program I have a teen that identifies as a transgender teen. This participant is physically female but identifies as male. When we visit the AIDS Quilt, I have two speakers that meet with the group. The first is a man who is living with HIV speaks to the group. The second is the Executive Director of the Names Project and she talks about this history and politics of the AIDS Quilt. We end up splitting the group in half and each speaker presents twice so that everyone hears both talks in a smaller group setting. We have always split the groups up by boys and girls mainly with the thought that by gender the teens may be more likely to ask questions and be more open to the information without the social pressure of the opposite sex sitting next to them. (Yes I know that this is already a loaded concept…. please have patience with me). Yesterday, for the first time, instead of saying all boys come to the back room, I consciously said “All who identify as male come on back. Everyone else please stay here.” Upon thinking about this experience, I realized the strong impact that watching the series “Transparent” had on me. The grace, beauty, pain and thought that the main character in the series explores the identification as a transgender adult sensitized me to this experience and what may be going on in the mind of the teen on my trip. I realized that it doesn’t matter whether I can understand the concept of not feeling comfortable with the gender you were born. This is the journey of the participant and who am I to get in the way?

The second item that happened is that I have a couple of teens that are “on the spectrum” with Asperger’s and autism. Anyone who has worked with a teen with either of these knows how exhausting it can be for you. I have found this summer an extra dose of patience when I am dealing with these teens. I realize it is coming from having seen the play “Curious Incident Of The Dog At Nighttime” which takes you inside the mind of a teen who has either Asperger’s or high functioning autism. Seeing this play helped me realize as exhausting as it may be to work with these teens, they are equally exhausted by the constant unfiltered stimulus going on in their heads.

What has struck me is we, as a society, often debate, and mostly lament, the impact popular culture has on us. By identifying with a character of a story, movie, play or song, I see the humanity behind the struggle; I can have more patience and desire to help. I can’t help but look at these examples and see that pop culture has the ability to be a powerful source of social change.

This is not a new thought. I believe “Will & Grace” and “Philadelphia” were game changers in the fight for equality for gays and lesbians. Television shows of the 1970s, “Mary Tyler Moore,” “All in The Family,” “Roots” all helped our society feel more comfortable discussing and understanding women’s rights, bigotry and race relationships.

As I am getting older, I see the importance of having access to pop cultural references to help enter this ever changing, modern world. I don’t keep up with all the modern trends, fads, and issues. I am finding myself way too busy just keeping my head above water and trying to remember the thought I had just 2 minutes ago. By the way, for the younger generation this is a reality. I am your future just as you are our future. As I am trying to better understand the millennial generation and ways to work with them, I would like to give them this lesson of my generation. I am a year shy of being half a century old and much of my day is spent trying to just maintain status quo and less about being able to adapt to constant change. I find every day the ground beneath my feet is shifting. I know this is a good thing but I would ask that millennials have patience in our ability to uproot what we knew as true yesterday to what is true today. Being able to see a deeper picture of social issues through pop culture makes it easier for me to understand the constant change. After all, the only constant is change and to quote from another pop culture reference, the play “Hairspray,”

Yesterday is history
And it’s never comin back!
Tomorrow is a brand new day

Billy Planer has been working in Jewish experiential education for 30 years. He is the Founder and Director of Etgar 36, a program that during the summer takes Jewish teens across America teaching them about history, politics and activism. During the academic year Etgar 36 takes day schools and synagogue groups on Civil Rights journeys.

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Filed Under: Readers Forum Tagged With: Engaging Jewish Teens

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Comments

  1. Carol Kaczander says

    August 14, 2015 at 4:06 pm

    Thanks for reminding us that life is always changing. As part of an organization whose mission is to provide services to those with disabilities, let me take a moment to be the language police. “High functioning” is an out date term and makes the rest of us “low functioning”. Very able, while still not great, is a much better choice.

  2. David jaffe says

    August 14, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    Great post, Billy. As someone with an aversion to pop culture this was a good reminder why I need to get over it, especially just turning 50 myself. I’m still using Odd Couple and All in the Family references! You make a good case for the humanizing impact of story, and story is the medium of most Pop culture.

  3. Sandy Passer says

    August 14, 2015 at 5:09 pm

    Please forward to Billy Planer.

    Hello,
    Your article is very thought provoking and gives insight to a wonderful program with energy toward a progressive nurturing world for Jewish teens.
    I am a parent of a 24 year old with high functioning autism. He just graduated from the Savannah College of Srt and Design with a BFA in Film and minor in Cinema Studies. Our son happens to be an avid supporter and ally of the LGBT community, while possessing an ‘equality for all’ type mantra. This includes gender equality, race, religion and political kindness.

    Here is an idea. His outrageous knowledge of film genres, and their influences on today’s world, is something his professors have been blown away about with him. Not to go into a ‘brag about our son’ rave, but I see something that could enhance and catch on with the energy you seem to possess regarding giving these youths an experience that will give wind for their sails as they embark on the opportunity of Tikkun Olam.

    Imagine, a group of teens gathering to watch a selected piece of historic film/television, and learning how this may have morphed into the influence that the industry has moved to acclaim social justices.

    This is the idea in a nut shell, and I think our son could add a world of information to this initiative.

    Let me know if you are interested in pursuing this idea. BTW, he is a jewish young man with a background of growing up in a congregation with day school experience, a loving Jewish home and is quite fascinating to chat with, especially these ideas you have so smartly discussed here.
    Thank you, and all the best.

    Thepassers@aol.com

  4. arnie draiman says

    August 15, 2015 at 9:18 pm

    terrific billy! well said. and as a parent of an asperger’s kid, i can tell you that the rewards and the challenges are both great. and we do it because they are our kids. as a youth group advisor for a gazillion years, not a single kid of mine (from the youth groups) was ‘left behind’ – we all worked together because they are OUR kids, whether biological or not. so thank you for your continued devotion to our kids!

  5. Dave Gloss says

    August 21, 2015 at 9:48 pm

    It’s really amazing how much of what we experience today is media driven. Music, video, etc. You think back to only 15 or 20 years ago, the access to even basic information on compelling topics, policies, etc. were limited to encyclopedias, newspapers, time-limited TV news, and the like. And the information was, on the whole, general.

    But there were the powerful media influencers, whether intentional or unintentional, like the folk music of Bob Dylan and Joan Baez during the civil rights era, signaling unique voices and their open challenge and call for dialogue on compelling social issues.

    What is really powerful about where we are now is the medium shift and portability and customization of the media. If you want to hear the opinion of a millennial, transgender living with Aspergers share their opinion on the state of global warming and its impact on Middle East politics, you can seek that out and learn from them. Maybe even connect directly and then deepen the conversation and learning.

    And this power, through the development of good content, that speaks to a unique and targeted audience or exposes a unique and targeted voice to a broader audience is something that we believe is the single greatest tool in the kit of social change makers today. It is a powerful tool, that if wielded appropriately, can change the world. Thanks for the thoughts.

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