Education has always been a cornerstone of Jewish life — and from a Jewish perspective, education was never intended to be purely transactional. Our tradition emphasises moral education rooted in Torah, mitzvot and centuries of communal learning. Our values shape how our children will lead, love and show up in the world. Knowledge is not an end but a vehicle for living a just and righteous life. How we achieve is just as important as what we achieve.

Today, however, many teens are overwhelmed, anxious and even tempted to cut ethical corners to stay afloat. The constant feedback loop of test scores, class rankings and parental approval creates a silent but powerful message that achievement is everything. 

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Here’s an uncomfortable truth: Too many children today are being raised as college applicants instead of mensches. To be clear, this isn’t because families or educators don’t care about values. Jewish families have historically valued education as a pathway to security and dignity. In the process of striving for educational success, however, an unintended consequence is equating that success solely with academic achievements and not with who the child is as a person. While students work hard to impress admission committees, something sacred may be at risk. We find ourselves walking a delicate line between raising our children to build impressive resumes or to build meaningful lives. 

Today’s youth often feel a lot of pressure to succeed from society and from their families. While this drive is often fueled by deep love and good intentions, some values at the core of who we are as Jewish individuals are omitted or sacrificed in the process. The question is, are these children being raised to emphasize chesed (kindness) and aravut hadadit (mutual responsibility), grounded in the teachings of Torah, or are they being trained to simply get top grades in order to earn high salaries, without being taught how to lead with integrity? 

I’m not trying to reject ambition by any means. Instead, I’d like to invite all Jewish educators and parents to redefine educational success. Education is more than just instruction; it shapes the identity and soul just as much as the mind. The goal is not to diminish educational excellence but to emphasize ethical development just as much as intellectual achievement. 

Imagine classrooms where acts of menschlichkeit are recognized alongside honor rolls, where students are encouraged to help a peer in need, create peer mental health initiatives, and lead anti-bullying campaigns. Imagine if families honor Shabbat not just as a ritual but as a sacred time away from achievement culture – no competition, just presence, community and rest – it teaches children that their worth is not tied to constant productivity. This is what it looks like to raise the whole child — intellect, heart and soul.

While there’s a long list of things we need to do to truly refine education, there’s one thing that we can start right away: emphasize what matters through celebration. 

Children learn from what is celebrated. When we celebrate outcomes, like grades and awards, children start to unintentionally internalize the idea that that is where their worth lies. Celebrate kindness and responsibility just as much, and the message changes. Children begin to understand that achievement is one part of a much bigger picture.

Jewish homes and schools have the power to send this message loud and clear. Through everyday actions, adults can shape a new definition of success. Through Jewish learning, children gain a framework that grounds them in identity and guides them through complexity. The goal as parents is not just to prepare children for college but for life, leadership and meaningful Jewish adulthood.

College lasts four years. Character lasts a lifetime. You can’t major in menschlichkeit, but you can make it a priority.

As parents and educators, let’s raise children whose transcripts don’t just impress — they inspire. Let’s give them something deeper than credentials: a moral compass rooted in Jewish wisdom, humility and purpose.

If we want to prepare our children not just for college, but for life, for leadership, for love and for legacy, then let’s start by asking a different kind of question: Not “What’s your GPA,” but “What kind of mensch are you becoming?”

Josh Schalk is the executive director of the Jewish Future Promise. He participated in the Masa Israel Teaching Fellows pilot program and brings a global perspective to his work in Jewish identity-building, drawing from his experience traveling abroad and engaging students through experiential and values-based learning.