Synagogue staff and volunteers are busy preparing to welcome hundreds — in some places thousands — of congregants over the course of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The most-attended days at synagogue in the year, the High Holy Days are a time when congregants who are otherwise infrequent participants make a special effort to show up. Cultivating a deeper sense of belonging will help these congregants connect more with our synagogue communities while they are with us. 

Since 2022, over 5,000 respondents from over 30 synagogues have taken Clal’s survey designed to measure congregants’ sense of belonging, the Belonging Index. We’ve learned that there is a dramatic and significant difference between how high-belonging congregants (those whose answers put them in the top third of respondents on belonging scores) experience synagogue community compared to low-belonging ones (those with scores in the bottom third). 

Undated photo of the author (right) and a workshop participant. Courtesy/Stephanie Faust

Two years ago, I wrote about how a high sense of belonging dramatically increases congregants’ likelihood to donate their money, time and talents to the community. This year, I am sharing five sets of tips, informed by Belonging Index survey data, that can help shift your congregants’ experience from one of low belonging to high belonging over the High Holy Days. 

1. Create more opportunities to greet people by name.

Remarkably, being greeted by name is a major indicator of belonging. Almost all high-belonging congregants reported being greeted personally (99%) and think others remember their name (97%) within their congregation, compared with fewer than 15% of low-belonging congregants.

Tips:

• At check-in stations, greet each person by name. There’s a big difference between “Welcome!” and “Welcome, Janet and Howard, it’s so good to see you again! Are Jonah and Maya also checking in with you today?”
• Incorporate printed name tags as much as possible. Print high holiday tickets on the back of name tag stickers. Pre-print name tags and a sign encouraging people to wear them and greet each other. Ensure that your board members and volunteers have name tags as well.

2. Incorporate more opportunities for visiting, sharing and meaningful conversation into the High Holy Day experience. 

Almost all high-belonging congregants report that fellow community members acknowledge them and ask them about their lives (94%), whereas low belonging congregants only experience this 2% of the time. 

Tips:

• Structure one of the dvar torah slots as a small group discussion, with guided questions about what people have learned this year or their hopes for the coming year.
• Create a socializing space with snacks for people taking breaks from services, and have a social shadchan (matchmaker) help introduce people. 
• Find a time to offer the whole congregation refreshments, even if its only apples and honey.
• Create a Rosh Hashanah meal exchange where new members can be paired with hosts.

3. Incorporate celebration and acknowledgement of people’s milestones from the past year.

Feeling seen and able to share makes a huge difference in belonging: Almost all high-belonging congregants reported “I feel seen at this synagogue” (98%) and “I feel safe sharing things about my life with fellow community members at this synagogue” (94%), whereas only 4% of low-belonging congregants said they feel seen and only 19% said they feel safe sharing. 

Tips:

• Ask people to email you their celebration photos or descriptions, print them, and hang them on a big celebration wall. Fill the lobby with conversation-starter notes about new babies, new houses, graduations, weddings and so on.
• Create meetups during the holidays facilitated by clergy and staff for people going through similar life-cycle experiences — meetups for new parents, for instance, or empty nesters, or a Yizkor meetup for people who have lost someone this year.

4. Develop more and more varied opportunities for volunteering.

We found that volunteering and feeling needed is a key component of belonging. Only 8% of low-belonging congregants reported that they easily find opportunities to contribute to the synagogue community, whereas 81% of high-belonging congregants said the same.

Tips:

• Send a volunteering form with High Holy Day tickets. Include opportunities for roles during the holidays and also roles throughout the upcoming year. Don’t forget to follow up on what people mark!
• Make sure the volunteer opportunities include not only roles with heavy time commitments but also jobs that are small, limited or require specific skills.

5. Harness community support for congregants.

Feeling supported by fellow community members is a clear indicator in our survey of feeling deep belonging. Ninety percent of high-belonging congregants reported that synagogue community members are openly supportive of them, compared with only 6% of low-belonging congregants.

Tips:

• If you do group aliyot, dedicate several of them throughout the holidays to invite up those needing strength and support of various kinds.
• Create a buddy system to match volunteers with those who’ve said they’d like support to participate, for example parents with babies and toddlers or those with mobility or sensory impairments. Not everyone has family members that can help them participate.

By brainstorming ways to achieve the critical indicators of belonging discussed above, your congregation can create warm connections, a sense of care and a feeling of belonging for all congregants that come through your doors this month.

Rabbi Julia Appel is the senior director of innovation at Clal – The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership and director of Clal’s Belonging Project.