Opinion

The Journey's end

Unseen but essential: the case for investing in chevra kadisha leaders

In Short

By supporting those who care for us at the end of our lives, we build more loving, compassionate Jewish communities

In the last 10 years, the conversation around death has taken on — excuse the pun — a new life. The emergence of death cafes, death doulas and even funeral industry influencers have mainstreamed our ability to talk about death and dying and brought new attention to the work of those who care for our loved ones before, during and after their deaths. 

As the executive director of Kavod v’Nichum, a Jewish nonprofit dedicated to empowering, educating and training chevrot kadisha — sacred communities that come together at the end of life to care for the deceased and comfort the living through Jewish rituals and traditions — I’ve seen firsthand the way these conversations have made their way into Jewish communities as well. 

Chevrot kadisha are sometimes called “secret societies”; and in many ways, their work does happen behind the scenes and in the shadows. Many people in the Jewish community, even those who are very involved, don’t know who belongs to their local chevra kadisha, what the responsibilities of the chevra kadisha entail or if they even have a local chevra kadisha at all. But this work, while private and confidential, should never be secret. It’s far too important — not just for the dead, but also for the living.

In recent years, particularly since the worst days of the pandemic, the tendency to keep conversations about death and end-of-life care in the shadows has begun to change. The pandemic brought mortality conversations front and center in our country. It woke people up to the possibility that death isn’t as far removed as we sometimes like to imagine it is. More people are asking questions about how Jews approach end-of-life care and venturing into the world of chevra kadisha for the first time. They are seeking the wisdom, care and expertise of the leaders in their communities who care for the deceased and comfort the living through Jewish rituals and traditions. 

Since 2020, Kavod v’Nichum has experienced an increased demand for our classes and trainings, with classes and their waitlists filling up faster than we can offer them. Attendance at our annual conference has increased by 106% between 2021 and 2024 — from 141 to 290 — and there has been an increased demand for more training opportunities for community-based chevrot kadisha.

This is the moment to invest in the emerging leaders who are stepping up in their communities to answer those questions, provide that guidance and, above all, show up with tenderness, love and care in these moments of grief.

Kavod v’Nichum has been training and supporting chevrot kadisha in the United States and Canada for over 20 years. Through our work, we have created networks of community support, activated new volunteers, expanded access to information about Jewish end-of-life rituals and traditions and created partnerships with organizations and communities to honor the diversity of the Jewish world — all with the intention of building a movement that is committed to transforming Jewish end-of-life care.

The launch of our newest offering, Olam Chesed: Chevra Kadisha Builders, is the next step in this journey of transformation. 

Olam chesed means a world of loving-kindness. It means a world where we arrive for one another without judgment, witness each other’s grief, offer our deepest compassion, honor one another and share our most profound love. The chevra kadisha is a sacred embodiment of these timeless values, and a chevra kadisha builder is someone who feels called to create an olam chesed by working to lead and grow a chevra kadisha

This is a program for volunteers who are running critical programs and providing communal Jewish responses through ritual in death. For many people, this is the way in which they engage Jewishly; they are not rabbis or spiritual leaders, but “regular people” who feel called to care for others and have dedicated themselves to these groups. They make themselves available on late nights and early mornings, lead rituals, train, educate, recruit and, above all, cultivate small groups of individuals experiencing some of the most meaningful Jewish service possible. 

These groups may be small, but they have an incredible impact. We repeatedly hear stories of people remembering how they and their loved ones were cared for with love and compassion, and how they want to ensure that everyone in their community is afforded that opportunity. The opposite, too, is true: people who felt a lack of care and attention from their community at a time of loss are getting involved to ensure that no one else has that experience. 

As these volunteer leaders dedicate their time and energy, freely and without expectation of return, the Jewish community has a responsibility to ensure that they have the resources they need to continue this sacred work. This raises new questions, not just for these lay leaders but for communal institutions as well. How do we ensure they have what they need? Do they feel supported? Are they ready to address unique modern challenges, such as whether to provide taharah for someone who will be cremated, what liturgy to use for a nonbinary decedent, and how to engage younger people in leadership roles and build a robust volunteer pipeline in a moment when time is the most precious resource many of us have? 

Jewish funders have invested millions of dollars in Jewish service and volunteerism, but the vast majority of these funds have gone to what we often think of as “traditional” service: feeding the hungry, caring for the earth and supporting communities in need. All of these are critical and aligned with Jewish values, and this work is both urgent and deeply meaningful. 

Yet investment in the volunteers who care not just for the living in our communities but also those who have passed away is just as urgent, and just as meaningful — and intrinsically connected to traditional service. What makes this work unique is that it is as much about the living as it is for the dead: members of chevrot kadisha provide care and comfort for the living by ensuring the deceased is never alone and through other rituals including bikur cholim (visiting with the sick) and support for the bereaved throughout shiva, shloshim and the first year of mourning. 

The work of the chevra kadisha is not just centered on the end of life but inherently part of the circle of Jewish life, from beginning to end to beginning again. Providing this continuum of care is one of the most meaningful ways we can engage Jewishly. After all, if we can’t show up for one another in death, how can we do a good job of showing up in life? These cycles are inextricably linked — and those who do this work need our investment to support their commitment to this sacred work.

Olam Chesed is a six-month, cohort-based program designed to empower individuals involved in building and growing a chevra kadisha. Our goal is to help leaders expand their vision for their chevra kadisha, gain insights and clarity on what is needed and develop their personal leadership capacity and their chevra kadisha’s effectiveness through practical tools. By integrating Jewish tradition, innovative leadership tools and contemporary approaches, our program supports participants in building and leading confidently within evolving communities. Our innovative pedagogy centers on hands-on, experiential learning with a leadership approach that empowers individuals to drive change from within their existing systems. Grounded in principles from Theory U, our method supports these leaders in creating transformational change by deeply understanding their current context, envisioning its full potential and identifying impactful areas through an iterative, creative process.

Our goal is not for chevrot kadisha to survive but thrive. Olam Chesed is the next step in our mission to build a world in which the chevra kadisha is a vibrant part of every Jewish community, deepening the connections to the rituals and practices of Jewish end-of-life care. By investing in intergenerational, creative communities of meaningful end-of-life service, we’re building a stronger and more impactful Jewish community centered on sacred care and the promise of a more loving, compassionate world. 

Sarit Wishnevski is the executive director of Kavod v’Nichum.