by Dr. Ruth Westheimer
exclusive to eJewish Philanthropy
When we hear the loud, angry political battle regarding the ultra-Orthodox (“Haredim”) in Israeli society, it is hard to square it with the calm, hand-in-hand cooperation that is developing between Haredi men and women and the secular employment market. I returned this summer from Israel where Haredi men and women opened their hearts and their homes to me and showed me how common sense can win over demagoguery.
Let me tell you more about it:
Yes, my name, “Dr. Ruth,” is usually associated world-wide with my expertise as a sex-therapist. But this time, I came to Israel as a sociologist, as a TV producer who visits Israel every year, and as a family expert. My mission? To explore the silent changes that have been taking place in the Haredi community in Israel. What I found is so impressive that I ended up producing a brief TV documentary that will air on various channels in the U.S. this year.
The revolution is happening under the guidance of organizations like the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee (JDC) in Israel. With the consent of top ultra-orthodox rabbis, JDC launched vocational training programs for Haredi men and women who struggled with poverty. “We have much in common: we all cope with issues of family and income – and we all struggle to give the best to our children,” says Reuben Korbat, a secular JDC professional who is the director of one of these programs. To ensure the right environment, the organizers made sure that the vocational training will be according to strict Halachic demands: separate but equal gender training, glatt kosher food, time for praying, and the use of culturally-sensitive materials.
While working on my film, I visited the busy headquarters of a software company in Jerusalem where Ultra-Orthodox women studied computer literacy. What a fascinating site! The women, modestly dressed, with access to a kosher kitchen, told me their husbands fully support their venture into professional education. “Ninety eight percent of them study – so they welcome the prospect of higher income to the household,” one told me.
How was that achieved? A lot has to be credited to the fact that this is a united effort – secular and Haredi, NGO, government and private enterprise. Mrs Adina Bar-Shalom, the daughter of one of the Haredi world’s most admired authorities, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, was very clear about it when speaking with me. She told me, “It was important to our leaders that our people will be able to earn income and lift their families up from poverty.” She pointed out that the Haredi women who learn a modern vocation, such as computers, are the most devoted workers in their jobs. “It is a win-win for their employers and for the women,” said Bar-Shalom.
And that is not all: Haredi men join the army, as a way to learn a trade and enter the employment market.
To that end, I interviewed Shlomo, a 24-year-old Haredi Navy sergeant who is married and has a daughter. He admitted it was a hard decision, but eventually his own wife told him, “we need to put bread on the table!” He joined the Navy, is earning a salary, and most importantly, he has found a profession that will enable him to be gainfully employed once he gets out of the service. He confessed that at the beginning his neighbors were sure he was going to leave the Orthodox world. But once they saw that he maintained his strict halachic life-style: “After me came tens of followers from my group,” he confided.
Next was a Haredi family – husband and wife and their ten children (yes, ten!) – who invited me to their home in the Haredi community of Beitar Illit. Both parents are employed, keeping a strict schedule to deal with all their family needs. The wife, who works in the Knesset, told me that she was one of the first married women to depart from the traditional close-to-home women’s job – a teacher.
“For every employed teacher, we had 50 who could not find a job,” she said. And though her Knesset job is away for home – it offers pay and professional opportunities – and, most of all, a significant contribution of the wife to the family budget. (Ten kids, did I mention? and they are all beautiful and happy and well dressed and well-learned. It was a pleasure to be with them at their home.)
So what can be gleaned from the various examples I found in Israel?
One fact is very obvious to me: while Israeli politicians are busy debating the issue of Haredi responsibilities – like work, army service, etc – the reality is that Haredi families are realizing on their own that the situation can not continue unchanged. For me, as an expert in family affairs, it was very clear that the drive for change comes from within the family. What we call “bottom up” change – coming from families in this case – is more effective than “top down,” imposed by laws and regulations.
Another fact is clear: in this work, trustworthy agents of change ignite and lead such a process. They can help construct a tolerant approach by bringing all the players to the table, negotiate the rough patches, and ensure the goal is reached amicably and successfully.
As a Hebrew speaker, I know that the word avodah means both avodat hashem (worship of GOD) and avodat kapaim (Employment). What I discovered now proves that the two can dwell under the same roof.
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This is a hopeful and optimistic presentation of what is happening on the ground, and it is important that this get coverage.
However, there is a concern regarding the conflict inherent in pluralism that has to be addressed. There is the classic, unavoidable issue of kashrut which invariably precludes mutuality. An individual who does not observe kashrut can eat in the home of one who does observe kashrut when attempts are made to promote “coexistence,” tolerance and mutual respect and understanding. Yet that can not work both ways. The concern becomes far greater if a workplace has to accomodate gender separation, if that were to disfavorably affect the number of women employed in a particular workplace, or restrictions upon women that might result from respect for needs of Haredi men.
It should be better for everybody, and for our economy, if more Haredi men and women join the workforce, but all of the implications warrant consideration and planning lest one sensitive issue incite another.
The revolution Dr. Westheimer refers to is happening at the Ono Academic College Haredi campuses. We believe that the Haredim are capable of much more than vocational training – we are providing them with the opportunity to acquire a full college education in professional subjects such as law, business, accounting, banking, information systems analysis, marketing and advertising and soon, occupational therapy. Over 2,000 students who want to provide parnassa for their families study at the Ono Haredi campuses, which were adapted simply by providing administrative conditions which honor the Haredi way of life without compromising academic standards. 2,000 Haredi Ono graduates have already found their places in professional positions, significantly changing their economic status and the future of their children. The numbers speak for themselves. Dr. Westheimer is right that when we use common sense we win over demagoguery and the result is a resounding win-win for all of Israel.
Judy Arad, Director of Foreign Relations, Ono Academic College, Kiryat Ono, Israel – judy@ono.ac.il
Thank you Dr. Ruth for providing us with an inside glimpse of a vibrant community which is all too often negatively stereotyped by the non Haredi world. Bottom up change is indeed much more powerful than top down models in almost any sphere, especially in the world of education. I very much look forward to seeing your documentary film when it is aired.
Excellent and enlightening article. As one who lives among those who might be considered the “Haredim” of America, I might offer that there is a similar (perhaps less driven) effort–at least on the part of women–to enter the workforce and earn for their families: very often in technology/ computers from a home-office, so that they are able to care for young children simultaneously.
I would like to respectfully address the first commenter: Having been raised Conservative and now being what some might call “very Orthodox”, I think that tolerance and accommodation go both ways. Perhaps those who are not “Orthodox” have become so jaded by stories (or an experience) of an offensive or intolerant Orthodox group or person, that this is what is expected…and therefore what is seen? Personally, I not only have friends who are not Orthodox, but who are not even Jewish. I keep kosher, they don’t. We can still be friends, because we both understand and respect that “you do your thing, I’ll do mine”. That means that when I have a meal–or spend a week–with a non-kosher (or non-Jewish!!) friend, yes, I bring my own food. But my friend is OK with that, because it’s understood that I choose to keep different dietary laws.
I think that perhaps both sides (Orthodox as a group are just as guilty of stereotyping, I’m not letting anyone off the hook) might benefit from stepping back and examining what fears and biases they walk into a situation with….and then try to be mindful (and put it aside, if possible) of those “buttons” in evaluating what “works”. At the end of the day, religious groups are made up of individual people…some are kinder than others, some more respectful than others, and some less so. It’s important to keep that in mind, so that “pluralism” as a big-picture doesn’t get sacrificed for the details of a few “bad seeds” who can’t get along.
Just my personal experience, having walked on both sides….
I appreciate Dr. Ruth’s encouraging words, but I’ll offer a few points.
First, it is discouraging that there isn’t more movement on the men’s side. Yes, it’s all well and good that women are moving “away from the house” and taking on serious tasks. But should they be the sole breadwinner while the husband/father “studies” – a task at variance with long-held Jewish tradition that a father should teach his son a trade so he won’t be a burden on the community, as well as the suggestion that study without gainful employment leads to sin.
Second, when these folks – men or women – graduate from their “kosher” training, they’ll soon enough have to deal with clients, customers and colleagues of the opposite sex. If they can’t handle that, they’ll be seriously restricting their opportunities.
Finally, demographic growth in the haredi sector is outpacing the movement into the army and workplace. So while any progress is to be commended, the change needs to accelerated if they’re not to fall farther behind.