Ten years ago, at a routine prenatal checkup, I* received devastating news: my much-wanted pregnancy was no longer viable. The doctor’s words still echo in my ears: If my body didn’t “take care of it,” I might have to make “decisions.” In other words, I’d have to choose between aborting or continuing to carry a fetus that would never become the baby I had desperately hoped for.

I was “lucky,” if you can call it that. My body miscarried, sparing me from making that heart-wrenching decision. But the experience was still traumatic, painful and terrifying. Yet, I realize now that the only thing worse would have been not having any choice at all about what to do next.

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This personal experience led me to create the “Unspoken” cartoon series, giving voice to others’ reproductive health stories. Our latest comic, “DETERMINATION,” released this October for Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month, tells photographer Abbie Sophia’s harrowing story. Abbie, who dreamed of having twin daughters like herself and her sister, instead had to choose whether to abort one of her twin fetuses to save the other — and herself. 

Abbie and I were both fortunate. Not just legally as Americans, but as observant Jewish women. Judaism unequivocally prioritizes the life and health of the mother — including mental health. Rashi’s commentary on Sanhedrin 72b:14 states: “When a woman is experiencing difficulty giving birth and is in mortal danger… until it has gone out into the world, it is not considered a soul, and so it is possible to terminate it and save the mother.”

This isn’t just ancient wisdom. According to the Pew Research Center, more than 80% of American Jews believe abortion should be legal in most or all cases. Our community has long supported abortion access, recognizing it as a fundamental right and, often, a medical necessity.

Yet today, thousands if not millions of women are having this right stripped away, even when their lives or future reproductive capabilities are in danger. The consequences are deadly. Take the case of Amber Thurman, a 35-year-old mother of two from Texas, who died after being denied an abortion despite severe pregnancy complications. Her death is a stark reminder of the real-world impact of abortion bans.

To address this crisis, organizations like the Red Tent Fund are stepping up. As a national abortion fund guided by Jewish values, the Red Tent funds abortion procedures for all people, no matter their religious or political affiliation, to ensure that economics don’t keep abortion access out of reach. This is one way we can support abortion access, even when the choice to seek abortion care in half our states has been limited or removed entirely.

But funding isn’t enough. We need to change the conversation. Unlike the doctor who nervously talked about “making decisions,” we can’t be scared to discuss miscarriage and abortion openly. These are normal parts of healthcare, and hiding them away only increases stigma and isolation.

One in four women struggle with miscarriages. Many others face difficult decisions about wanted pregnancies gone wrong or unplanned pregnancies they’re not ready for. By allowing greater awareness and discussion of these issues, we can help those suffering silently feel less alone. This openness is crucial not just for women, but for their partners too. While partners may not be physically carrying the pregnancies, they often struggle silently with the crushing emotions of pregnancy loss or difficult abortion decisions.

As a Jewish community, we have a moral obligation to act. Here’s what you can do:

1. Speak up. Share your stories. Break the silence around miscarriage and abortion. The more we talk about these experiences, the more we chip away at the stigma.

2. Support organizations doing this vital work. Invest in Jewish and secular organizations that fund abortion access, provide counseling, or advocate for reproductive rights.

3. Educate others about the Jewish perspective on abortion. Many people, even within our community, may not realize how strongly Jewish tradition supports the right to choose.

4. Advocate for policy change. Use your voice and your vote to support politicians and policies that protect reproductive rights.

While October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, these issues demand our attention year-round. The Jewish community must step up its support for all its members whose choices are being threatened. By speaking out, investing in solutions, and standing firm in our values, we can help ensure that no one faces these difficult moments alone or without options.

Our tradition teaches us to choose life. Sometimes, paradoxically, that means choosing abortion. It’s time we make sure that choice remains available to all who need it.

*The perspective and personal stories shared in this piece are those of Chari Pere, written with support from Allison Tombros Korman. 

Chari Pere is the award-winning creator of the “Unspoken” cartoon series. Allison Tombros Korman is the founder of The Red Tent Fund.