As Yom Kippur approaches, I start to create a mental list of my actions that have caused harm or pain to someone over the past year. I will quietly recite them during the Yom Kippur Al Chet prayer.
During this exercise these past weeks, I became keenly aware that communication – or the lack of it – is often at the heart of my Al Chet confession. Whether it was my tone, my choice of words, my lack of responsiveness or my rush to say something and then get it wrong, failed communication is an important theme on my list.
I wonder how many of these transgressions of communications we all share.
- Failure to get all the facts right.
- Failure to communicate clearly – using words that precisely convey a thought; with no insider jargon or verbosity.
- Failure to write concisely – to edit down to the core ideas.
- Failure to actively listen as an essential part of communicating.
- Failure to allow others in a conversation to complete their thoughts before jumping in with yours.
- Failure to be open to hearing others’ opinions and points of view.
- Failure to recognize that there are many – not one – valid perspectives on a subject.
- Failure to speak out on matters that require your voice.
- Failure to appreciate and use new methods of communication.
- Failure to communicate more often with those who need and deserve your attention.
May your New Year be filled with good conversations.
image: Shraga Weil, Book of Life I
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Gail-
This is a great reminder and a lovely way to keep us focused on the fact that communication requires as much listening as it does speaking (and emailing and blogging and twittering and… and…). I work in the Jewish community day school world where communication and the relationships it fosters is everything.
Shanah tovah,
Marc Kramer, Executive Director
RAVSAK
Thanks for writing, Marc.
I agree that communication is everything. It is the glue of our relationships and sometime it takes work to keep things together.
Gail
Marc, Loved your post! It really resonated with me and so closely aligned with my wishes that I extend to my friends on my facebook account. Here it is: May we take this time to reflect with gratitude on the life & friends that we have been blessed with, and seek forgiveness for the moments we spent in anger, inadvertently bringing pain or disappointment to others. Let us savor the present, choose only behaviors that serve others and oursevles, and carry a more compassionate focus into the next year.
Again THANK YOU for reminding us of the vital role that honest, compassionate communication makes in our lives!
Joyce