More than 98% of Fortune 500 companies incorporate mentoring into their businesses, and over 160 million Americans have sought therapy to help navigate life’s challenges. But how many people seek out spiritual mentorship? 

Though I have no data to point to, based on countless conversations, even with some of my most religiously committed friends, my impression is: not enough. 

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I have benefited greatly from therapists, coaches and professional mentors. Yet some of the most transformative guidance in my life has come from what some would call a rebbe, but I would call a spiritual mentor.  

One day, while serving as the senior vice president of Yeshiva University, I was in a big rush to get to a meeting and decided to drive on the shoulder of the road to bypass traffic. It was a poor choice; I got pulled over and received a traffic ticket. Later that day, somewhat embarrassed, I mentioned this to my boss, then-YU President Richard Joel. He smiled and then commented, “Our character is not defined by the big things we do; it is defined by all the small choices we make.” In that moment, he stepped outside of his role as my boss and acted as a spiritual mentor. It was moments like these that pushed me to think beyond my job and to consider who I am and where I need to be.  

A spiritual mentor is much more than a therapist who helps you understand yourself or a business coach who shares best industry practices. A spiritual mentor is someone you look up to, someone who is wise, and someone who could encourage you to become a better version of yourself.  

When grappling with family challenges, a therapist might help me establish boundaries, but a spiritual mentor can help me think about my obligations. When considering career decisions, they encourage me to think not only about personal fulfillment but also about my God-given talents and responsibilities. 

Like most Orthodox Jews, I have rabbis whom I consult regarding matters of Jewish law. But spiritual mentors do something different. They help me rise above the trees and confront the larger questions of meaning, purpose and direction by challenging me and by leading by example. 

To be clear, a spiritual mentor is not limited to being Orthodox, or even Jewish. We all live by a set of values, and the value of spiritual mentorship lies in ensuring that those values are considered when making big decisions.  

Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto, an 18th-century mystic and philosopher, captures the role of a spiritual mentor using the imagery of a maze with a tower at its center. Most people wander aimlessly, repeatedly encountering the same dead ends. Some eventually give up. What they fail to realize is that there is someone who has already reached the tower. From that vantage point, Luzzatto writes, he can guide others toward the correct path. 

The challenge of finding a mentor 

Many people tell me they have identified someone they would like to establish as a spiritual mentor but do not know how to build a relationship with them. My advice is simple: ask. I have consistently found that even the busiest people are willing to make time to share their wisdom. 

Years ago, I sought advice from a particularly busy rabbi regarding a difficult challenge. He invited me to walk him to his next appointment. By the time I finished describing my dilemma, we had reached the destination. Before we parted, he shared a short Hassidic tale. I have returned to that story repeatedly over the past decade. Each time, I discover new layers of wisdom. 

A personal board of directors 

I once gave a talk in which I acknowledged and thanked “my rebbe, my dear mother.” After the talk, someone came over to me asking when my mother was ordained. I explained to this person that my mother was not a formal rebbe, but she was one of the key people I turn to for spiritual guidance.  

The Maharal notes that Pirkei Avot appears to repeat its directive to find a teacher; since the Mishnah is famously concise, the repetition demands explanation. He suggests that it indicates that we are meant to seek more than one mentor. 

Modern leadership experts have reached a similar conclusion. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Susan Stelter argues that successful people do not rely on a single mentor; rather, they cultivate what she calls a “personal board of directors” — a group of trusted advisors who offer different perspectives and expertise.  

In this case, what is true professionally is equally true spiritually. 

We often assume that spiritual mentors must be religious leaders. While rabbis certainly play an important role, they are not the only people capable of providing spiritual guidance. The Lubavitcher Rebbe encouraged his followers to find a mashpia — literally, an influencer — someone who is spiritually grounded and whose judgment they trust. 

My own personal board of directors includes both rabbis and non-rabbis, my late father and my mother, dear friends and people that I find somewhat intimidating. Each offers a unique perspective, and I turn to different people for different types of questions. 

Going forward 

Spiritual mentorship is built into many of our programs at the Orthodox Union. NCSY advisors mentor teenagers; JLIC couples mentor college students. Recently, we extended this mentorship model to the next life stage by launching COMPASS, a project of our Emerging Career Professionals division. Young adults are paired with mentors in small groups for regular learning, discussion and one-on-one guidance. But we shouldn’t stop at young adulthood. I wish programs like this existed for people of every age. 

Imagine if, alongside therapists and career coaches, we all had someone who helped us remain true to our values and aspirations. Imagine if organizations invested not only in wellness but also in spiritual growth. This can be done by employing a spiritual mentor to be available for the staff. If that’s too ambitious, supervisors can encourage employees to not only check in with a therapist or to find a business coach, but also to seek out a spiritual mentor of their own. 

We live in an age of unprecedented information and persistent confusion. More and more people report feeling successful yet unfulfilled. Perhaps what many of us need is not another source of information, but someone who can help us see beyond ourselves. Mental health helps us heal. Spiritual mentorship helps us discover who we are meant to become. 

Rabbi Josh Joseph is the CEO of the Orthodox Union.