By Sam Joseph

For me this virtual world of meetings, teaching, coaching-consulting and programming is not new. If by virtual we mean conference phone calls, I have been participating in these for decades. So too if we define email threads, forums and bulletin boards as virtual. Email for meeting, teaching and coaching-consulting has been a tool I use for over twenty years.

Yet video conferencing is by far the most powerful means we employ during this past decade. I am in my ninth-year teaching courses in Hebrew Union College’s Executive Masters in Jewish Education. My classes and the program itself are overwhelmingly a distance, virtual course of study. Much of my coaching-consulting with synagogue professionals and lay leaders includes Zoom sessions. I probably attended 25 congregational board and Executive Committee meetings in the past two years.

I like the virtual video experience. Video platforms allow us – most especially in a time of social distancing – to achieve a higher level of human connection than a phone conference and email. We see facial expressions. We see body language. We connect the intonation and inflection of a person’s words as we see him/her/they.[1] The virtual, video meeting is quite powerful as it comes closest to the real face-to-face human connections we have had in our lives until this past month.

However, the vast majority of us have very little or no experience in working with this virtual video realm. I want to offer some thoughts about getting the best out of using Zoom. After all, it is the best we have at this moment. As professionals, lay leaders, teachers, students and participants I believe there are Four Core Principles that must guide us for us to best use the virtual, video world. At its heart I mean building trust that is so essential for our success with the platform.

Here are the steps to use as you plan your video gatherings.

First, we must have personal acknowledgement met before content: We must focus on human beings before human doings. The beginning of each of our virtual gatherings must include, “how are you doing?” “Are you okay?” Connection before the content of the gathering. You can ask participants to text the leader(s) of the meeting with a response to how they are doing. If there is a roster of attendees to you can have them text one another. You can even have attendees text a family member or friend and have them tell that they are attending a meeting and wanted another person to know how they are doing. Focus on human beings.

If the meeting is a staff or team or committee meeting with a “to do” agenda, the leader also wants responses to “how I am doing in relation to our work together?” Now, in this new and crazy world does our work, our agenda items make sense? Do we need to rethink our tasks, our charter?

Second, we must communicate an understanding of the situation with the group. Here the leader must help the group home in on “why we are here,” “what is the main point we should focus on at this time.” Clarity of purpose is the key. This is so true when we are mostly alone at this time. We are dying to know that others think our thoughts and ideas make sense. This is the time to name the ambiguity in which we are living. Trust is built because we know we are being heard and we hear others.

Three, ask what they, the participants, want from you, the leader. “What do you want from me … here and now?” Especially you as the leader want to know their human wants. Trust is built when the participants can say, “I am not feeling 100% right this moment,” “I am distracted right now with kids at home and I am home schooling,” “I cannot think straight as my spouse was laid off yesterday.” The important value here is that this group virtual, video group gathering can reinforce that we are all still in human relationships together. You want them to know that you want to support where they are as a human being during this “insanity.”

Four, share what you want from them. You want to be clear. Human beings before content. Right now, what is it that you want the group to do? Ask them what they are thinking concerning the work around which all are gathered? As the leader do see any flexibility in the group’s work agenda? Anything that can be put off? Anything that must be done?

Virtual, video meetings are certainly better than other means we have in this time of social distancing. At the same time, social distancing does not mean emotional distancing. To best use the virtual video tool, everyone’s emotional expression must be communicated. This is a time of unceasing anxiety. We feel we have no control over our lives. Yet if we intentionally recognize our menschlichkeit … our humanness … and make that the foundation of our virtual gatherings we will build trust and have as much success as is possible realizing the purposes of these gatherings.

Virtual, video meetings and gatherings are proliferating throughout the Jewish world. We are learning from trial and error how to best do and use this platform. The Four Core Principles to Build Trust in a Virtual World I offer here should very much help and support you as you create, lead and participate in this world.

Here is the link to a complete resource created by HUC-JIR entitled: Resource Guide to Teaching in Relationship Online http://huc.edu/news/2020/03/25/resource-guide-teaching-in-relationship-online

(Thank you Drs. Lesley Litman, Miriam Heller Stern and Laura Novak Weiner)

Rabbi Sam Joseph, PhD is the Eleanor Sinsheimer Distinguished Service Professor Emeritus of Jewish Education and Leadership Development at HUC-JIR in Cincinnati. On the faculty of the rabbinical and education schools for over forty year, he consults with synagogues and organizations throughout the Jewish world.

* I cannot thank enough Becky Robinson and Lydia Schimmelpfenig of Design Learning for all they teach me.

^[1] A brief digression I heard today related to video meetings. For a video meeting, participants must dress. Not necessarily for a conference call or an email forum. I hear video meeting dress is called “business torso.”

Rabbi Sam Joseph, PhD is the Eleanor Sinsheimer Distinguished Service Professor Emeritus of Jewish Education and Leadership Development at HUC-JIR in Cincinnati. On the faculty of the rabbinical and education schools for over forty year, he consults with synagogues and organizations throughout the Jewish world.

^* I cannot thank enough Becky Robinson and Lydia Schimmelpfenig of Design Learning for all they teach me.

[1] A brief digression I heard today related to video meetings. For a video meeting, participants must dress. Not necessarily for a conference call or an email forum. I hear video meeting dress is called “business torso.”