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  1. kol hakavod! great work. i have been involved in the tzedakah and hessed angle of bnei mitzvah for 30+ years. i learned from danny siegel (dannysiegel.com) and one of his essays speaks about what you describe: http://dannysiegel.com/4questions.pdf – danny says that one should ask the bar/t mitzvah kid what s/he wants, what s/he likes, what s/he is good at, etc. and use those answers to build a tzedakah project.

    you have taken that into the ceremony itself and that is terrific. keep up the good work, and next time you are in jerusalem, let’s discuss it.

    arnie draiman
    http://www.draimanconsulting.com

  2. What is your vision of a successful Jewish adult? What skill set should they own? What components of your middle school curriculum did you jettison? What are your metrics for judging success over time? Is there a robust parent/family component to the program? I am truly professionally envious of the affective success you describe. I see the potential for deep motivation and connection that can come out of the program you have built. These are of course vital components for our young people’s commitment to Judaism. And I would like to know more.

  3. I am planning a B’not Mitzvah for my daughter and her friend that will be done outside of the synagogue and not by a rabbi. We want the service to be meaningful and reflective of who the girls are and who the families are. We are looking for resources for readings, stories, songs, and rituals. The questions that you pose in this article will also be helpful in our thought process.

  5. Beth. I am sure your intentions are good… but Bnai Mitzvah is about community. One can make an experience in a synagogue meaningful if one wants. If your synagogue isn’t a partner with you, then you are in the wrong synagogue. But Bnai Mitzvah without community is empty no matter how wonderful the service is. It sends the wrong message and is unlikely to promote connection to the Jewish people over time.