Email a copy of 'Grandparents and Jewish Identity' to a friend
Loading ...E-Mail 'Grandparents and Jewish Identity' To A Friend
Loading ... Loading ...Click here to 
Email This Post
to friends or colleagues!
Email This Post
to friends or colleagues!
Top
Interesting results although not at all surprising (clearly baby boomers have taken “grandparenting” to an art form!). Based purely on anecdotal experience, I suspect that the trend you discuss will only intensify in the years to come as we see more children from Conservative and even traditional backgrounds (not necessarily Orthodox) intermarrying. Specifically, I would not be surprised if the grandparents of the children with Jewish fathers become more equalized in their closeness given the efforts these grandparents are likely to make to insure the transmission of some Jewish content to their grandchildren. I already see this happening with my friends in these denominational categories whose sons have intermarried.
Another research report that confirms what we at Big Tent Judaism have known for a long time. This is what motivated is to establish Grandparets Circles all over North America.
In our particular situation the grandchildren are very close with the paternal and maternal grandparents. They are being brought up with a Jewish education, but with some Christian holidays. Our situation finds the Father Jewish and the Mother Christian (but not practicing) The Mothers Circle and the Grandparents Circle extremely helpful.
Rather than reinforcing what JOI, now Big Tent Judaism, has been saying for years, this seems to confirm what previous studies by Steven Cohen and others have conducted in the past: Where the mother in an intermarriage is Jewish, there is at least 80% plus Jewish education and involvement for the children whereas when the father in an intermarriage is Jewish, there is only a 20% chance. This results require us to ask:
1) Should we be putting greater emphasis on efforts to reach Jewish fathers in order to raise the percentages of Jewish connection and involvement of their children? Is such an effort a waste of time and resouces or is there a good chance to succeed?
2) Does the study prove that, once again, the mother is the ultimate decisor regarding religious/spiritual/cultural involvement and affiliation and that nothing we do will change this? In other words, 80% seems to be consistent in religous determination and involvement whether the mother is Jewish or non-Jewish. Given that reality, is there really anything we can do to effectively change this?
3) Regardless of the statistics, does this mean that perhaps the Jewish world should invest greater financial reasources in helping families with infertility challenges, where the mother is Jewish, to literally create more Jewish babies – see the incredible and courageous work of Annie and Rabbi David Glickman, founders of Priya, and Elana Bekerman who recently wrote in eJewishphilanthropy?
4) Should denominations invest greater resources, financial and human, in college students regardless of whether they are Jewish matrilineally or patrilineally as this seems to be the time that this generation starts making decisions on their own.
“And you shall teach your children” doesn’t end when they are grown and raising their own children, as so many of today’s grandparents have found, and as this study demonstrates. Making sure the traditions continue is a responsibility we Boomers are taking seriously, and even more so if we have children who are in interfaith relationships or marriages. This often means making the choice to leave part of the family at home to travel to “the kids” to spend a holiday with them, to take the goodies out of the shopping bag like my own Bubby did, to help them make memories and support their Jewish choices. The community’s role is clear-we need to make every effort to be there for the Jewish spouse who is making that choice, whether it is the father or the mother, and offer Jewish family experiences which are easily accessible, inclusive, and worthwhile.
Although our son was raised by two Jewish parents, went to Hebrew school since Kindergarten , was both bar mitzvah end and confirmed, was active in Hillel and birthright, he is living with a non Jewish mate. He dated hundreds of jdate girls over 4 years. They have an infant and are not committing to bring him up as a Jew. Our son though bright was very ADHD.and dyslexic He now says he hated every minute of Hebrew school. He said the teachers were mean, made fun of him and his classmate bullied him. He hated being there and had no love of being Jewish. Both sets of grandparents were close to him and we had family Jewish holidays. I think formalized religious education has to change and create love and warmth and a huge connection to what being Jewish means for students with learning disabilities. In my son’s case, his early learning abuse which we were not aware of at all, left an indelible impression of his being rejected as a damaged person and not a child welcomed into the tribe.
Something should be done to make Jewish day schools and JCCs more affordable. Catholics manage to do so for their parochial schools, but our Jewish schools are priced like college. I’ve tried to help, but even so, there should be reasonably priced ways to bring them into the Jewish fold.