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You are here: Home / Readers Forum / Dues Are Not The Sole Stumbling Block for Young Families

Dues Are Not The Sole Stumbling Block for Young Families

September 11, 2013 By eJP

Apple-LogoWe need Apple synagogues.

by Mitchell Shames

In response to Adina Kay-Gross’, article, September 8, 2013, “Should Young Families Have to Pay to Pray?”, of course, the answer is a resounding “No.”

But, I am concerned that a dues focused discussion misses a much larger point. In this season of t’shuvah, rather than simply bemoaning the cost of synagogue membership let’s turn to the more pressing question: are our synagogues engaging vibrant communities?

Has anyone else ever noticed, that more often than not, 90% of the laptops perched on the long communal table at a Starbucks are made by Apple? I often count. It is truly astounding. Dell, Toshiba, Lenovo – all provide similar functionality at much lower costs. And, yet, among the Starbucks cognoscenti, people pay up for Apple laptops.

Apple, Goldman Sachs, Nike, Chanel, McKinsey, Mercedes – all essentially provide commodity-like goods or services, but the market pays up dearly for these brands. The functionality of these goods and services are eclipsed by the perceived “value-added,” sizzle, pizzazz, even cache of buying these brands.

How often do McKinsey, Goldman or Chanel suggest dropping their prices to gain market-share? Not often. Engage in a race to the bottom? Never!

We need Apple* synagogues.

We need synagogues that so touch the lives of their members that pricing doesn’t become an impediment. We need synagogues which attract members because of their dynamism, excitement, and energy. People should clamor for synagogues the way they do for cellphones, cars, and shoes. Of course, dues should be tailored to people’s means, but, the real issue is that dues should be an after-thought.

All the ink being spilled on dues vs no dues should instead be directed toward the quality of experiences people have when they encounter synagogues.

Ms. Kay-Gross spins the yarn of a fictional (or not) young urban couple who pays up for synagogue membership and is lucky to find a nurturing community which provides them the opportunity to “bask in the warm glow of baking challah.” No doubt they found a wonderful urban community that enriched their lives. I might add that paying dues did not seem to tarnish this experience. I suspect dues were irrelevant, mostly.

A move to the suburbs provided unsettling transitions including the search for a new congregation. While the couple was eventually presented with free holiday tickets, I would submit that the free tickets were not determinative of their engagement in the new congregation.

Instead, it was the experience of a shared story, an art project and baking challah at a PJ Library event. [Again, challah … maybe that is the key]. Simply put, in the author’s own words, “we enjoyed.”

The “we enjoyed” preceded the offer of free High Holiday tickets. Had they not enjoyed, then likely the free tickets would have ended up in the trash. But, it was the enjoyment, the intangible of a mother sharing an experience with her twins in a Jewish setting: the foods, the smells, the fun. Free tickets were merely the icing on the cake… or, more aptly, the egg glaze on the challah. (And, I deeply suspect, that eventually the couple will become dues-paying members).

Of course, no one should be precluded from synagogue participation due to money. Case closed. End of discussion.

Now let’s focus on how we transform the same ol’ synagogues into places which no longer bore us to tears, but rather speak to our deepest human needs.

Think about it… Apple, Mercedes and Chanel sell laptops, cars and clothes, respectively. How boring. And yet, they do an amazing job.

Synagogues have a huge headstart. Where else has the potential to speak to your soul, connect you to life-long friends, tap into a rich cultural, religious and spiritual traditions, provide a venue for the celebration of life cycle events, a place to mourn, educate you throughout your life and provide opportunities to engage in social justice? The list goes on and on.

Darn. Dues are the easy piece. Let’s now, together, clergy, volunteer officers, members and non-members, turn to creating life-giving vibrant spiritual and just communities. Communities that have more kick and pizazz – more meaning – than any new laptop, car or pair of shoes.

This really shouldn’t be that hard.

*Ironically Apple has just announced that it will be introducing a lower priced iPhone. However, this price reduction has come only after it has saturated the high end of the market. It would be a luxury to talk about market saturation in the context of synagogues.

Mitchell Shames is the President of the Board of Directors of Big Tent Judaism/Jewish Outreach Institute (JOI). He is also partner at Harrison Fiduciary Group in Massachusetts.

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Filed Under: Readers Forum, The American Jewish Scene

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Adina frydman says

    September 11, 2013 at 3:31 pm

    Thank you for elevating this discussion! And thank you for not falling into the trap of using the Apple metaphor to discuss the brand/image challenge synagogues face as that too is not the main issue. Brand follows product. Let’s hold up examples of inspiring and compelling synagogues- because there are many. If you have experienced such a place I invite you to share your experiences to serve as inspiration and models. To read more about how to transform our synagogues into connected congregations: beyond dues and membership models download the report at wew.ujafedny.org/synergy

  2. David Glickman says

    September 11, 2013 at 4:21 pm

    Adina — excellent point. We focus a lot on pricing, marketing, without thinking first about making the best possible product that everyone — EVERYONE -wants, craves and enjoys using. Also, there is a slight mis-spelling on your website, so in case people couldn’t click on it the report you mention is here: http://www.ujafedny.org/synergy/

  3. Lisa Colton says

    September 11, 2013 at 7:27 pm

    Thanks for this great piece. You say synagogues have a head start — “Where else has the potential to speak to your soul, connect you to life-long friends, tap into a rich cultural, religious and spiritual traditions, provide a venue for the celebration of life cycle events, a place to mourn, educate you throughout your life and provide opportunities to engage in social justice? The list goes on and on.”

    Yes, but. This is all potential, as you say. We need to create the fertile soil for these things to sprout, grow, and bloom. It takes time, and care. Seeds sprinkled on hard, dry clay will not thrive, and so too do we need to till the soil of our communities. Dues are indeed just one part. You can have plenty of nitrogen but without carbon there is no growth. Similarly, we have much to examine – from our goals and measurements (tushes in seats, or depth of relationships?) to design of the activities, to the language we use, to the way we use professional staff and expertise.

    The shift to help synagogues align with the needs, expectations and decision making patterns of your families today will be significant, and will require un-learning and re-learning many of the basic assumptions and patterns we take for granted today (think Steve Jobs here…).

    With UJA Federation of New York we are piloting this work with a cohort of congregations starting this fall. Quite intentionally, we will be sharing the curriculum and learning with the wider community, and welcome the continuation of this conversation over the coming months.

  4. Sylvia says

    September 11, 2013 at 8:37 pm

    Check out TheKitchenSF.org for the kind of experience about which you write.

  5. Iris Nahemow says

    September 11, 2013 at 8:49 pm

    Lots and lots of people today are looking for a caring community. When I was a child we lived within walking distance of a large number of family. This is rare today. We need people we can care about and be cared about in return. I now belong to a synagogue that understands this and we work hard to make sure this is a culture that continues. It is our strength. Many years ago my husband and I joined a decided not to join my parents orthodox shul, and joined a congregation in our neighborhood. There was a big dinner dance being planned. the chairperson called and asked if we would like to come. I said yes, but added we didn’t know anyone and wondered if we might sit with her. “Oh, no!” she replied. “Our table is full!” This is not the way to welcome new members. So, what happens at your place? Dues are not the issue.

  6. Adina says

    September 11, 2013 at 10:12 pm

    Hi Mitchell,

    thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I agree with your ideas, wholeheartedly! Just one point of clarification: I make no mention of membership dues being the issue, only that a family looking to worship with a community on the holidays shouldn’t be restricted by the cost of tickets, as friends of mine (real, live, caring ones, not fictional) were.

    And SURE! A synagogue that “speaks to my deepest human needs”? Sign me up.

    Gmar Chatimah Tovah to you.

  7. Harold Berman says

    September 12, 2013 at 10:22 am

    Mitch,

    This article is so incredibly on point. Many years ago, when I was a graduate student in Boston, my wife and I were given free tickets for High Holiday services at a temple in Newton. Their services were completely devoid of spirituality, and many of the congregants seemed more focused on catching up with the neighborhood gossip than participating in the service. We never went back. And as I think about it, cost was never a factor in our decision. That it was free didn’t matter since we were not presented with anything we would want to experience again. But had it been an amazing experience, we undoubtedly would have paid to get more of it. And when I think back on the Jewish experiences that have meant the most to my wife and me, I really can’t remember what they did or didn’t cost. Because that simply was not the relevant part of the experience.

    Free or low-cost may get people in the door. But it will never get them to stay.

    Harold Berman
    Co-Author, “Doublelife: One Family, Two Faiths and a Journey of Hope”

  8. MarkN says

    September 12, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    I beg to differ . . .

    Here you are discussing what are called in the trade “prestige brands” and saying that Jewish communal life should become a prestige brand. But, wait a minute. People who understand prestige brands understand that their added value is not based on an intrinsic higher worth. In fact, there is little concrete about a Mercedes that merits its higher cost than a Toyota. Both get you from point A to point B. Prestige brands project an image that elicits desire in the target audience. They epitomize the image-driven nature of contemporary culture.

    When you talk about Jewish communal life, you are not talking about an image, but some of the most important authentic experiences one can have in a lifetime. That’s one reason – for better or worse – why the comparison to prestige brands fails. It is also why flirting with shallow image-projection is so problematic.

    I suggest you drop this line of argument. It is not productive.

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