Or is it? I’ve been hearing a lot of questions lately from people in leadership positions about the appropriateness of “friending” community members on social networks like Facebook. These questions are coming from clergy, youth leaders, teachers, etc. – basically, people in authority or mentoring roles, and often people who interact with minors. Many community organizations, youth groups, and classes use Facebook regularly to engage, connect, share, and plan events.
In the absence of organizational guidelines, people are establishing their own social policy based on their comfort levels. I have heard a number of responses to this issue, including:
- “I won’t friend anyone I work with”
- “I will only respond to friendship requests but not initiate them”
- “I will friend someone but use privacy settings and encourage them to do the same”
- “I will friend someone but with the caveat that if I see something inappropriate that they are doing, I will confront them (or their parents in the case of minors)”
- “Happy to friend and be friends – I’m an equal opportunity friender”
I’ve started to do some investigating on this topic and would love to hear how you or your community approaches this issue. There are a whole lot of other people out there interested as well!
I also wonder about the implications for community stewardship. How do we determine, develop, and facilitate social norms that are appropriate for our communities? Is this something that organizations are addressing explicitly, or is it left to individual members? What are questions we should be asking?
*lyric from “Friendship” composed by Cole Porter.
image: flickr, “friendship arch detail” (Chinatown – Philly) by Bitter Girl
cross-posted from TechStew; adapted slightly from jlearn 2.0
This sort of baffles me. When I joined facebook I went on a ‘friend-ing bonanza’ and one day I came to the conclusion that most of these people are not worth having as facebook friends. So i un-friended them. It was that simple. I never heard a discouraging word after having done so and I think people realize that the friending is getting out of control. If you friend someone and then think twice about it, just un-friend them. Its facebook for crying out loud, its not like you dis-invited them to your daughter’s wedding!