by Rabbi Mitchell Cohen
Over these last few days, the social media firestorm around inclusion at Camp Ramah has had some interesting outcomes. First, it has stirred up and added more passion to the communal conversation around inclusion in the Jewish community – an outcome that Ramah, as a pioneer in the field, welcomes unconditionally. Second, it has brought Ramah some outstanding endorsements, particularly from alumni who have “lived” inclusion at Ramah as peers to campers with special needs, and who know first-hand how extraordinarily well inclusion actually works at Ramah. And third, it is a frightening but important lesson on the sharp bite of viral internet postings – the frustration and helplessness that can arise out of one-sided conversations, and the ease with which decades-old reputations can be attacked all over cyberspace.
To the first point: The national Ramah movement set a standard for communal inclusion in 1970 with the establishment of the first Tikvah special needs program, pursuing the extraordinary vision of Herb and Barbara Greenberg, who were well ahead of their professional peers in the Jewish communal world. Inclusion was a concept embraced by Ramah decades ago. It was never “something optional,” as a previous writer in this space suggested; and the full inclusion of children, teens, and young adults with special needs in the Ramah community became a core value for Ramah residential camps in the years that followed. The growing conversation around the need for inclusion in year-round communities, spurred on by Jewish funders led by Jay Ruderman, is one that Ramah not only welcomes, but also plays a key role in facilitating. In fact, the leadership of the Ruderman Family Foundation has encouraged Ramah to extend its mission and begin to build special needs and inclusion programming year-round, so that campers from the Tikvah programs continue to engage Jewishly, enjoy and build upon the social connections and joyful Jewish learning they experience at camp, and remain connected throughout the year. We welcome every opportunity to be part of the communal conversation and to share Ramah’s experience in inclusion to benefit the broader community.
To the second point: It is hard to describe the magic of inclusion at Ramah, and the impact it has not only on the 250 Tikvah program campers that attend Ramah each summer but also on their camper peers, who understand that inclusion is the standard at Ramah and should be the standard in every other communal setting. Additionally, there is the life-altering impact on the dedicated young Tikvah staff members, many of whom choose to serve the Jewish community in careers in the helping professions as a result of their Tikvah experiences. Importantly, there is also the impact of summer learning and experiences on the families of our Tikvah campers, so many of whom have their only Jewish life experiences as a family in the context of Ramah, because of the dearth of opportunities for experiential Jewish engagement in an inclusionary setting year-round.
And to the third point: It is difficult, after the last few days, not to reflect on the potential of social media to damage and even destroy reputations with the click of a mouse. The one-sidedness of the accusations flung at Ramah from literally every corner of the earth, with no appropriate context regarding Ramah’s well-earned reputation for excellence in special needs camping, and the particulars of the case discussed, was disheartening and even shocking. There is no question that our camp’s approach to this issue, however imperfect, came only from a place of caring and sensitivity to all concerned. At Ramah, we find it ironic that the entire conversation on inclusion over the last few days began over an issue that had nothing to do with our special needs programs but rather the issues that arose from the multi-year inclusion of a camper with physical challenges into our typical camper program. This complex web of circumstances, and the online vitriol in response, yields a critical lesson on the vital importance of tempering online commentary, and the need to work that much harder to teach our children about the terrible consequences of lashon harah. As Yehoshua Ben Perahya taught (Pirkei Avot 1:6): When you assess people, tip the balance in their favor. Rambam explained: give the benefit of the doubt to those who have acquired a good reputation. And as Rabbi Shimon taught (Pirkei Avot 4:17): The crown of a good name (keter shem tov) is above all other crowns.
Ramah camps throughout North America have an outstanding record of inclusion, yet we are always cognizant of the need to do more in this area. We have been accommodating children with special needs, educating the entire camp community (and beyond) about the boundless gifts of difference, and have been raising needed funding to extend our program to children with exceptionalities for decades. The Ramah camping movement will continue to build a keter shem tov and actively nurture inclusive Jewish communities that embrace the value of difference.
Rabbi Mitchell Cohen is the National Director of the National Ramah Commission. He has been in that position since 2003, having served previously for eleven years as the Director of Camp Ramah in Canada. He was the founding principal of the Solomon Schechter High School in Westchester County, New York, and was a corporate litigator before receiving his rabbinic degree from the Jewish Theological Seminary.
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Mitch — this is a great response, and one that makes me feel so much better than the initial statement that came out of the Ramah office — in this piece, you get to the heart of the issue which is Jewish values and priorities …. As I ‘ve now posted in several responses; one mistake does not negate the years and year and successes that Ramah has had putting inclusion on the map, as a Jewish priority!
We now live in a world of social media. It does not upset me that this family turned to social media to get out their message — what I think is most important, is remember how powerful social media is as vehicle of change, and how all the folks who have been in the process of responding, need to do so responsibly.
Social media can change lives … we need to be ready to embrace that as a part of our future!
Kol Hakavod on all the amazing work Ramah does every summer, for so many Jewish children!
Proud Alumn of Ramah California and Ramah Berkshires,
Rabbi Faith Cantor
My past observations at Ramah Camps confirm Rabbi Cohen’s assessment of their focus on inclusion of special needs children. When you visit the camps, you see very clearly how special a place the camp is to these kids, and how much of an impact it has on both their counselors and their peers. I was surprised to hear during a recent visit to Camp Ramah New England that the Ramah Camps have had inclusion programs for 40 years – they were clearly ahead of the curve at that time.
Another important lesson from this experience is the need for camps to maintain a strong, open presence on social media platforms in advance of controversy. Rabbi Cohen is right – the initial conversation was one-sided, with the exception of the many Ramah parents and alumni defending Ramah’s track record. The missing piece of the conversation was the camp itself. If the camp had been building its community online with transparent discussions on a blog, Facebook, or other channel, it would have been in a great position to respond quickly and openly to the issue. Instead, the camp was silent during the days following the decisions; they had no experience discussing issues like these openly and honestly.
This should be a lesson for all camps. As part of their communications planning, camps need to leverage these powerful social tools and also consider their online policies so they are ready for both positive and negative stories in the future.
Kevin Martone
Technology Program Manager
Grinspoon Institute for Jewish Philanthropy
Great points Kevin.
Ramah, and others, should internalize lessons from the Komen disaster (earlier this year) and formulate policies for how to deal with the flow of negative publicity – be it on Facebook, Twitter, or the local newspaper. In today’s media world, rapid response is vital – and there really is no excuse for organizational slowness.
Mitch,
Kol hakavod! Thanks for saying so eloquently all that I was feeling. As a parent of 2 Ramah Wisconsin campers and Ramah Day Camp, Chicago campers who’s lives have been profoundly affected by their interactions and experiences with their Tikvah peers at camp, I couldn’t be prouder of the work Ramah has done and I know will continue to do.
Nadine Sasson Cohen
Proud Alum of Ramah Berkshires
Proud parent of Ramah Wisconsin and Ramah Day Camp campers
as a proud ramah alum and tikvah camper i would like to comment on the issue. camp ramah wisconsin in my eyes is the best. they do their best to include the tikvah campers in as many ways as possible. when i was their the incoming 10th grade campers served as tikvah tudors. it was an amazing mentor program. the tikvah program offers people with disabilities the oppurtunity to participate in every day camp life. when my family first heard about ramah i was very skeptic. because the summer before my first summer at ramah i had attended another camp. a camp that claimed to have a special program. i was threatend their and made fun of on a daily bases. my mattress was also set fire with me on it. i had such a bad experience i never wanted to go to another camp. than the tikvah director came to my home and talked to me about camp and what to expect. i told her of my fears and she was very helpfull and understanding. i thank g-d every day i went to ramah. rabbi Loren Sykes has changed so many peoples lives. he defenitly had an impact on me and still does to this day. i spent many wonderfull summers at Camp Ramah in Wisconsin and am so gratefull for the oppurtunity.i even went to israel with camp ramah. may g-d continue to bless rabbi loren and his amazing staff.
Thank goodness. I can exhale. Mitch – every point you make fills my heart with pride…and relief. I have been feeling so sad and frustrated that the very organization that has blazed trails in support of individuals with special needs has been maligned as discriminatory, unfair, insensitive….
As the parent of a child with Down syndrome, and 3 other ‘typical’ kids, all of whom are included and embraced at Camp Ramah in Canada, I feel very proud to herald Ramah as a pioneer and unrivalled leader in supporting children with exceptionalities and differences.
Other Jewish organizations should be learning from Ramah’s example!
My children only attended Ramah’s Day Camp in Nyack, however, my oldest son had Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and Ramah was great at including him in everything and accomodating his needs.
Rabbi Cohen’s response is excellent, and I truly do believe that Ramah has been a pioneer and exemplar in Inclusion.
The lesson about social media, however, misses the most important point. Everyone needs to be cognizant of the fact that someone who feels wronged now has the means to publicize their grievance and have it heard. While this can be painful to an organization like Ramah, overall I think this is a powerfully positive development. In the world of business ethics training, the most common test is “How would I feel if my decisions were on the front page of the Wall Street Journal?” Perhaps in modern times, decisions about sensitive issues need to be handled with the sensitivity of ” “How would I feel if my decisions were sent out by someone who felt wronged through Twitter and Facebook around the world?” It is, perhaps, another check on our decision processes that will help assure that we handle these situations with sensitivity and empathy.
When Rabbi Cohen notes how ironic it is that this conversation “began over an issue that had nothing to do with our special needs programs,” he has identified Ramah’s “inclusion” problem.
Ramah still does not understand that Inclusion does not mean separate.
Ramah’s continuing success is life-long friendships built over many summers; the Tikvah model does not allow for natural inclusion of special needs campers with their same-age peers over multiple summers. Typical and special needs campers (and staff) learn that they cannot live together. The Tivkah kids are “other.”
Ramah can do even better by listening to what this “social media firestorm” has to say — beyond the specifics of this camper.
I think this story is opening up a much needed and appropriate conversation.
I think this is a nice statement about lashon harah — but it doesn’t address the issue that was most upsetting to me — that a camp would accept a camper with disabilities and then decide to send him home in the middle of the summer. I appreciate that Ramah (or any camp) can’t meet all needs and it may be difficult to provide services for every need, but then it shouldn’t accept a camper (for 5 summers!) and then send him home in the middle. It might not be appropriate to really address this publicly, but that seemingly poor planning (logistics, financial, etc) seems to be what Ramah should be acknowledging. Also, the Tikvah program is amazing, but disabilities come in all shapes & sizes and not all are appropriate for the Tikvah program. Based on my experiences, someone with development disabilities is less “able” than a blind person, for example, who is cognitively the same as his fellow campers. I think whatever the actual incident was this summer at Ramah Canada (I understand that we only know the parents’ perspective — and I don’t think it matters that one parent happens to be a rabbi, although much has been made of that), it raises questions/issues that I hope Ramah (both individual camps and the national system) is grappling with for the future so that more and more different types of kids can find a home at Ramah.
Again, I would like to add that as the Mom of said camper in Rabbi Cohen’s statement, our son does not qualify for the Tikvah program. He is blind, not mentally impaired. Therefore, extolling the virtues of the Tikvah program has nothing to do with him. Secondly, Rabbi Cohen was not present when we were practically begging the Director to do something so that the camp could keep accomodating our son as they had been for 4 weeks. We asked him if he could think of any solutions besides breaking our son’s heart by calling him in to his office and telling him he had to pack up and leave! How is that o.k. or “from a place of caring and sensitivity to all concerned” when it comes to our son who had done nothing wrong? The camp had accepted him for 8 weeks. Obviously, there was a break down in communications when Directors got switched. Perhaps the new Director was not even aware that a blind camper was coming to camp (for his 5th year.) But as I see it, that was the Camp’s responsibility to do something so our son could stay. One day, there was no possible way to accomodate him, the next day, all of a sudden, after the blog and commentaries appeared, it would be their pleasure to invite him to stay the extra four weeks? If they could accomodate him on Thursday, I’m sure they could’ve found a way to accomodate him the previous Wednesday as well. This was just not an appropriate way to treat this child! I have spent the past 5 years saying how wonderful Camp Ramah in Canada is and bragging about how they accomodate my blind son! Now, I would simply like an apology from Rabbi Cohen and an admittance that Camp Ramah in Canada MADE A MISTAKE. I can understand mistakes, I can’t condone trying to sweep it under the rug as if we are just big over reactors. As Ramah supporters also, we deserve more respect than that.
Amen! Thank you for articulating what I’ve been thinking. Mostly, I was ashamed and angry about the “feathers” that were released into the internet abyss. Hopefully Ramah and other Jewish teaching institutions will educate young people that the internet is a wonderful thing, but words hurt and sometimes they cannot be taken back.
As Nero Wolfe would say, “pft”. Why has Mitchell Cohen chosen not to address the issue directly and answer the questions that are really on people’s minds regarding the process that led to the camp to ask that the boy leave the camp? It seems to me that Rabbi Cohen’s response will only draw more angry comments, on one side, and defensive comments, on the other. Pft.
Rabbi, Isn’t it disingenous to on the one hand admit that the handling of this particular family’s situation was “imperfect” and yet vilify them for having brought it to light? Would the appropriate response then be that the establishment be protected over the rights of an individual who was made to feel their needs were not respected? I saw no attack by Rabbi Krishef in either of his posts against the organization or personal attacks against the director. I saw a man who was in pain who felt that the injustice he and his family were experiencing could not be allowed to stand. And because of his bravery and willingness to stand outside and say “this is not right”, what has happened exactly to Camp Ramah? They have had to admit their error. They have apologized (albeit not in this post) and they have hopefully learned how NOT to treat another camper. There are two sides to every story, that is true. But truly, Rabbi, my understanding of lashon harah is that it is only wrong when it is intended to embarrass and not to improve a situation or right a wrong. That is NOT the case or the lesson to be learned here. If disparaging information is shared, and the purpose is to right or prevent a wrong, it is not lashon harah at all. The purpose here was not to embarrass but a cry for justice. The embarrassment that arose did so because a wrong was done. A mistake was made. And prior to the Rabbi’s blog, that mistake was still standing. I applaud Rabbi Krishef for his willingness to take a stand and his courage in standing up for his son.
joan katz as a tikvah alum i have to disagree with your comment.to say that the tikvah campers can not live with the other members of ramah is 100% untrue. we shared a a porch and bathroom with a porch with a cabin in our age group.often we could be found sitting on the porch with members of the other cabin. also while we didnt get to move up with the group from the year before we still saw them.2 of my best friends to this day i met at ramah. even though they were regular campers we would spend our free time together.one of my greatest memories is getting to fly to stlouis and spend a few days with one of my friends i met through ramah. i even attended her wedding.even though she is married with a child now we still talk often. so please remember that each case is different. in no way am i impying that all tikvah campers had the same experience. but this is my experience.
yashar koach Mitch! Well said. I was stunned that people were so ready to voice strong and harsh opinions based on one side of a story. Sadly, most people are a lot more “brave” online than in person.
Yashar Koach, Mitch.
While I generally steer clear of blog/news comments (for the reasons that Mitch articulated) I feel compelled to add a couple points to this discussion.
Sarah: Rabbi Cohen never stated that a camper with physical challenges is necessarily a fit for the Tikvah program. While this might be a good point, I’m afraid that this was never an actual issue throughout this entire conversation. His point, clearly articulated, is that the Tikvah program was somehow thrown into the mix and questioned–when, in his opinion (and mine), it shouldn’t have been. And, second, you’re right: he did not address the particulars of the situation. Because of privacy. You then continue to berate Ramah for not dealing with this situation appropriately and, remarkably, ignore the entire premise of this post: We do not have enough information to make a call on this. It’s Ramah’s position that there is more to his story. If we’d like to have a conversation on inclusion, if we’re concerned about the handling of this particular situation–that’s perhaps reasonable. But you’re still using that one blog post from one party in your argument, and, more, you’re making that argument after a blog that speaks to that one-sidedness.
I also feel I need to respond to Joan’s point about Ramah not understanding the meaning of inclusion. Again, this comment specifically addresses Tikvah, when this whole situation, from my understanding, didn’t have anything to do with the Tikvah program. But, as a former camper and staff member of Ramah Canada, I’m going to take issue with this. I can only speak to my personal experience, and that of my friends, but I can tell you that inclusion is definitely a priority and something real. Magshimim campers (15 year-olds) spend a great deal of time with Tikvah campers. As do Alonim (16 year-old) campers, especially those who work with Tikvah campers and staff as a CIT. For me, my time spent with Tikvah campers–both one-on-one and in groups–was tremendously meaningful and a foundational experience. I think it was meaningful for Tikvah campers too.
To Joan’s point about “otherness”: Tikvah campers have special needs that require special staff (and I can tell you that every single person I know who has invested so much love and energy as Tikvah staff at Ramah is indeed very special). These campers often require a different space where their needs can be met. Yes, they live in a different cabin. And, yes, “typical” campers understand that Tikvah campers seem different. But campers (even young campers) learn that they can connect meaningfully with mentally challenged campers, despite our physical or intellectual differences. I know I did.
Without a clear statement of what went wrong from Camp Ramah in Canada and a sincere apology, all the slick PR and sermonizing ends up sounding defensive and insensitive. It’s not only ok to admit mistakes and say you’re sorry, it’s the honorable and decent thing to do. These are the Jewish values that are missing from this corporate statement that seems to be more oriented towards a lawsuit that the family has no intent on filing than anything else. Haval.
Recently, I have become deaf and a lot more sensitive to individuals with disabilities. There are valid points on both sides, however I believe what is most important is our children. How is the young camper who left Ramah doing?
Jason Glenn! I haven’t seen you in decades. Been a long time since Ramah Wisconsin!
Joan Katz, I’m betting you haven’t visited a Tikvah program, nor set foot in a moadon Tikvah.
As a camper, I lived in the other half of the cabin that housed the male Tikvah campers. It was an amazing experience to live with them. I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.
The next year, as a waterfront CIT, I worked with the Tikvah swim program. And a few years later, as Rosh Mayim, I again helped with the Tikvah swim program – all at Wisconsin.
Joan, to say that the Tikvah program (at least at Ramah Wisconsin, since that’s all I’ve seen) is separate is to miss everything in front of your nose. Tikvah and Machon are together almost the whole day.
I’ll keep this brief, since it is not in response to the point of the post, but I guarantee that if you ask Jason, or anyone else from Wisconsin Tikvah, they’ll describe a well-integrated program.
David Schach
Camper, Ramah Wiaconsin
Rosh Mayim, Ramah Darom
Rosh Mayim, Ramah Wisconsin
It is very strange to be reading about the whole special needsinclusion dustup while literally touring around Israel looking at innovative special needs programs with 30 other professionals, parents and young adults width autism, sponsored ny the LA Jewish Federation. And for four of us parents, are children are having the time of their lives in the Tikvah program at Camp Ramah.
A mistake was made and Camp Ramah needs to simply and clearly apologize and ensure that this mistake is never made again. I am not convinced that Ramah “gets it”: To quote from Rabbi Cohen’s piece: “At Ramah, we find it ironic that the entire conversation on inclusion over the last few days began over an issue that had nothing to do with our special needs programs but rather the issues that arose from the multi-year inclusion of a camper with physical challenges into our typical camper program.” This is exactly where the rubber hits the road. Ramah’s special needs programs are without peer. However the inclusion into the typical camper program must equal the excellence of Ramah’s special needs programs. There must be a place for campers with different abilities in the the typical program. Without that, Ramah (and the rest of the Jewish community) is not yet successful.
Further, I am struck by Rabbi Cohen’s text references: “As Yehoshua Ben Perahya taught (Pirkei Avot 1:6): When you assess people, tip the balance in their favor. Rambam explained: give the benefit of the doubt to those who have acquired a good reputation.” Should this not also apply to Solomon Krishef?
I am glad that Camp Ramah is admitting and owning up to this mistake that hopefully will not take many years to recover from the damage to its reputation.
I have all three kids up at Camp Ramah now and would not have it any other way. I have also had in the last 24 hours great communication with the camp for my own son’s needs. I could not imagine a better place to send my children this summer for their spiritual, emotional and phfysical and social development they receive at Camp Ramah.
Unfortunately, poor communication and being short-sighted to save a few dollars seems to be endemic in Jewish non-profit and this needs to be corrected. We must treat others as we would want to be treated, and the Conservative movement as a whole needs to take this to heart.
On visitor’s day, the very first person my 15-year-old daughter wanted to introduce us to was a girl from the Tikvah edah she was tutoring in Hebrew. She has looked forward to working with the Tikvah children for months now and who knows, this may turn into a career choice for her, working with the disabled.
Still, a lesson needs to be learned from this summer: if the director would have made the accommodations for the blind camper (and this couldn’t be hard, there are so many resources for the blind) and spent a little extra, it would have outweighed the very costly damage that ensued online.
I hope Ramah can recover from this hit to its reputation.
Mitch,
This article was exactly what we needed to hear from you and the National Ramah Commission. It pivots from defensive at best to a reflective approach geared toward future improvement while highlighting successful programs and opportunities.
However, as the first inclusion camper at Camp Ramah in the Berkshires, in 1993, and someone who works constantly for the further integration of people with disabilities into both the Jewish and general community, I have one concern from your article I would like to address.
I am concerned by the surprise expressed in the statement “we find it ironic that the entire conversation on inclusion over the last few days began over an issue that had nothing to do with our special needs programs but rather the issues that arose from the multi-year inclusion of a camper with physical challenges into our typical camper program”.
In my experience, the more self contained or specialized the program, the easier it is to control the types of situations that elicit such responses. The more integrated the person is within a typical program, the greater the risk for issues and yet the greater the reward when it works. For example, of the 19 campers in my regular bunk my first summer in Berkshires, at least 9 of us, that I know of, including myself, wrote our collage essays 3 years later on the impact of that summer on our lives. That summer was the first time in my life I felt like my Judaism mattered more in my life than my disability, convincing me to pursue a life fully immersed in the Jewish community. Both would not have happened if I was part of the Tikvah Program. This is not because Tikvah is not a great program, which for 40 years has provided countless opportunities for individuals for whom it has been great, but because as great as it is, it was not right for me.
Your sense of irony concerns me to the extent that it may lead you to abandon fully inclusive strategies in favor of the semi inclusive model you employ at Tikvah as a risk aversion strategy. This would be a mistake. The Jewish community needs multiple options. One of the things that has kept Ramah in a leadership position is those options. I hope you chose to invest in making programs better and stronger as a risk management strategy rather than divesting from them.
Thank you for what you have done in the past. I look forward to working with you to do in the future.
Jason Lieberman
My kids have been campers at Ramah for the past three years, as well as students at a local Jewish Day School since 2000. In my experience, parents are very willing to indignantly complain when “special accommodations” are not available (free of charge, of course) for every special need. So many of these organizations are incredibly financially stretched as it is, and extra resources do not fall from the sky.
I feel for the family involved in this situation, in that their son doesn’t perfectly fit into the categories already provided for at Camp Ramah. Fact is, the way to make change is to write a check. When one of our children required certain accommodations for a period of time…we wrote a check so that would be possible. We are not wealthy, writing that check was difficult, it meant there were other things we had to do without during that time, but we felt strongly then, as now, that the Jewish experience was worth it. I am certain that if a request was put to the Ramah community to help fund an aide for this child, well before the start of the summer, help would have been forthcoming.
What WE DID NOT DO was blame the school educating our child, she has now graduated and our other 2 children are still attending. What we also did not do was speak lashon hara about the whole situation using social media as our vehicle. All this serves to do is unnecessarily inflame people to not involve their families in Jewish education and Jewish camping, and deprive them of an amazing experience. The parent writing such a letter, claiming to have loved his personal Ramah experience, has now effectively alienated his son from that potential future, and because of his community standing, possibly also turned others away as well.
As the parent of a child in the Tikvah program my attention was captured by this online discussion. My immediate reaction was to feel sadness for this camper and his family, and for the entire camp at a missed opportunity. But my very next thought was that Camp Ramah is an organization that has a great track record for including all kinds of campers and certainly has shown a desire and commitment to bringing children with disabilities into the Jewish camping experience. So I thought a lot about how to understand this contradiction. Mitch Cohen’s letter helped me to untangle some of this confusion.
Most of us do not know the details of this particular situation, and so it is futile to debate what was or could have been done. But I know as the parent of a child with a disability how devastating it can be to feel the sting of rejection. Being the parent of a child with a disability makes you vulnerable in a way that few people can understand, and that feeling has the incredible power to make even the mildest parent turn into a tiger at times. Formerly mild mannered parents have changed the world in so many positive ways for people with disabilities, without their passion one can only imagine how bleak things would have remained. But Mitch Cohen’s letter made me realize that great harm can also be done by that same instinct … and how important it is to beware not to cut down the very people who are in our corner. And I would say that Camp Ramah has most definitely been in our corner.
As parents of children with special needs we are in the very challenging position of having to absorb some of the pain and frustration that comes from with repeatedly needing to explain to the rest of the community the things that seem so obvious to us. Still we have to find a way to remember that many others have been on our side in this struggle for so many years, to take several deep breaths and patiently work together. To keep our commitment to talking and negotiating and explaining and strategizing to help people understand the bigger picture. And although I am not implying that it was the case here, we may sometimes even have to accept that what we want so much may not be realistic, and be flexible enough to rethink and redirect our efforts. There is certainly a place for public discussion and advocacy, but this public attack, in my opinion, was not helpful. The last thing we want is to harm the people who have helped our children. And there is certainly no benefit to creating an environment where camps and schools will hesitate to embrace our children with disabilities, for fear that they will be vilified for doing a less than perfect job with every child.